


Smile When We Play Together

by schneefink



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, F/M, Genderswap, female!Geno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-26
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-06 05:46:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1103117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schneefink/pseuds/schneefink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James falls in love with Gina. He maybe sort of panics.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smile When We Play Together

**Author's Note:**

  * For [koscheiis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/koscheiis/gifts).



> Things I'm ignoring: some injuries, like Paulie's and Geno's in April and James' during the Islanders series, and/or their treatment; some minor schedule/travel details; the Boston bombing.  
> Thanks to agentpantybunches, hanet, and Acacia Zane for encouragement and feedback.

The lockout is over, they're going to play hockey again. On the first day of training camp James feels lighter than he has in months, even though he knows he's out of practice. Off-season training and skating is never the same as the real thing, but he feels like he's flying over the ice. 

The next day he's early. As he walks into the locker room he hears Dan say "It's good to have you back, Evgeniya," and he feels like fist-pumping.

"Hey Gina!" he calls, and she turns around in the middle of the room. 

She looks tired, her clothes rumpled and her hair unkempt – he knows she only arrived late at night, she texted him – but she's smiling widely, her dorky smile with too many teeth, and suddenly she's the most beautiful person he's ever seen.

"Lazy!" she says and hugs him, messing up his hair and laughing at him when he tries to duck away.

"Glad you're back," James says when he manages to free himself.

"Yes," she says, beaming. 

His stomach feels empty and his head feels lighter and her smile seems ten times brighter than before. His hands itch with the desire to pull her in again and kiss her and hold her close.

Shit.

###

He maybe sort of panics. 

James never felt like that about her before. She's one of his best friends, the best linemate he ever had, of course he loves her, but not like _that_. He was aware that she's not bad looking in an abstract way, but she's not exactly stunning. She's not even his type: her hair is nice, but her face is uneven with a big nose, she's taller than him and she has an athlete's muscular body with long legs and strong arms and big hands. But it's like suddenly all of it fits together in a new light that makes her the most attractive woman he's ever seen.

He's aware that there are rumors about them out there, ever since it became obvious how well they clicked on the ice. In the middle of last season Jen from PR sat down with him for an uncomfortable talk about how to respond to asshole reporters trying to insinuate things about Gina and him. Gina jokes about it when it's brought up: "Sorry Nealsy, not interested. Your hair not pretty enough." He protests that his hair looks great, thank you, and that's that. She's a teammate, and she's funny and kind and he likes being around her, but it's not different to how he feels around, say, Paulie or Duper or the other guys. At least that's what he thought.

Whatever it is, it can't affect hockey, and to his great relief it doesn't. In their first game he gets a goal off Gina's assist not even ten minutes in the first period, against the fucking Flyers no less, and in the middle of their celebration he thinks that this is how it's supposed to be. They play beautiful hockey together and look out for each other on the ice and talk on the bench and chirp each other in the locker room. If he smiles at her a bit more sometimes he hopes everyone chalks it up to the general excitement that hockey is back. They're going to win another Cup together; nobody has to know that when he pictures it they're kissing on the ice, and he tries not to think about it.

###

In February Eric is traded and Bea is called up. Gina is thrilled to have another woman on the team, one for her line even, and she makes the most of her opportunities to be mentor and annoying big sister both. James helps, of course, and procures several pairs of adorable penguin earrings that he hangs in Bea's locker. (It's a joke, but he's convinced that she secretly loves them. Gina laughs at him.) He's not sure if Gina dragging Bea to go dress shopping is also part of pranking the rookie, since to his best knowledge neither of them particularly likes wearing dresses, but like most of the locker room he's too chicken to ask. Neither of them puts pictures of their new outfits online, he notices with embarrassed disappointment when he browses their Twitter accounts. 

Then Gina hits the boards badly in a game against the Panthers and stays down on the ice, and James feels his blood freeze. Everyone hates to see teammates go down, especially like that, especially with all the shit they went through with concussions, and this is Gina. Stupid fucking blue jerseys. Gina told the team not to be overprotective, everybody gets hit and she can look after herself as well as anyone, but he can't stop himself from going after Gudbranson and it's a damn good thing the refs are there quickly. 

"Concentrate, Nealer," Sid says on the bench, and James takes a deep breath and tries. He can't stop himself from watching the replay and curling his hands into fists.

###

Gina has a concussion. They leave for a road trip afterwards so the only thing James can do is text her and send her funny animal pictures, while trying not to feel guilty because he doesn't know how much the Doctors said she should use her phone. He tries to tell himself that he would have done the same last year. At least she doesn't seem to mind, chirping him about not scoring enough as usual and that his hair looks like it misses her. As if; the only one to mess with his hair is Duper anyway.

She's not even back one week when she's out again, this time with a shoulder injury. It's frustrating and she clearly hates it. James goes to visit her after morning skate; he didn't call ahead, and in the minute before she opens the door he worries, but she seems happily surprised to see him.

"Fine," she says to his question. "Trainers say two weeks, you know, okay."

"I can see that," James says, pointedly looking at the large pile of DVDs on the living room table. He can't read the titles, but a surprising amount of covers are dark and/or feature explosions. There's a half-finished bottle of nail polish on the table and James winces. He's only ever seen her with nail polish after bad losses.

"Lazy want?" she asks when she sees him looking and holds it up. "I have purple, too. Good color, good choice."

"No thank you," he protests with a laugh. "Be nice to me, I came to visit you so you don't die of boredom."

"I'm always nice," Gina says with an innocent look.

James snorts. "I can't understand why small kids aren't afraid of you."

"Because I best," she says and sticks her tongue out.

He doesn't feel like arguing that as much as usual. Instead he looks at the DVDs again. "You want to watch something?" 

"Play pool?" she suggests. "Better when two."

So they play pool (she beats him easily), and the next day they watch a movie. The day after that Gina gets it in her head that she wants to try and bake muffins, so they have to go shopping and then they end up almost burning the muffins and making a mess out of her kitchen. It's not James' fault, really - okay, not completely – anyway, the muffins are okay.

"Next time we make blini," Gina says afterwards, satisfied. She has flour in her hair and chocolate on her cheek. She looks beautiful. 

"Aren't those like pancakes?"

"Yes, but better. Russian," she declares.

"I won't even be able to read the recipe," James complains.

"Need to learn Russian," Gina decides. "Best language."

He makes a face. "Much too complicated. I know what to say to Ovi, that's enough."

"Your accent is terrible," she says with a grin.

He shrugs, because it's true.

She says something else in Russian that he's sure is something mean and sticks her tongue out again.

He really wants to kiss her.

###

He doesn't know what to do, so he asks Paulie for help. Paulie is a good listener, and he doesn't interrupt while James stares at the counter and confesses his crush while slowly eating his toast. 

"And it's not going away and it's becoming really hard to ignore," he ends and takes a big gulp of the coffee that Paulie helpfully set in front of him.

"Why are you trying to ignore it?" 

He stares at Paulie. "Are you kidding? There are so many reasons this is a bad idea."

Paulie hums. "What do you _want_ , James?"

He doesn't know. He wants to stay friends with Gina and he also wants to kiss her and sleep with her. He wants to wake up to her smile in the morning and to see her laugh at him when he does something stupid and to play hockey with her forever and maybe adopt a dog. So basically, he's in love with her and wants to marry her. 

He lets his head fall against the counter. Paulie pours him more coffee.

###

It's not like it could ever happen. She's his teammate, it could mess up the team, and it would be a media nightmare. Max told him how bad the media used to be about Gina and Gonch and Gina and Sid, and that was just stupid rumors. 

Besides, he's pretty she doesn't even like him that way. She never gave a hint that she's interested in him as more than a linemate and friend. He thinks she's straight, he sort of remembers reading a story about her and a Russian boyfriend, but she never mentioned him so maybe it was made up. But if she wanted a boyfriend she'd probably want a Russian, someone who can understand her even when she gets tired of speaking English all the time. James knows she loves Russia. He's pretty sure that she'll sign an extension because she wants to play the best hockey she can and that's in the NHL, but he also always vaguely assumed that she'd move back to Russia to her family and friends after she retired. 

One day during a break in practice James asks Flower: "Did Gina actually have something with Ovechkin?" 

Flower shrugs. "Who knows. But I know one thing." 

"What?"

"Don't gossip about your teammates like that, fuckface," and he's not smiling.

Fuck. "Sorry," he mutters. None of his fucking business, anyway. 

He feels guilty about it, but he can't stop thinking about her when he jerks off: naked and with sweat running down her breasts, riding him and pressing him down into the mattress, her hair open and falling down her shoulders.

###

They keep winning, fifteen games in a row. Gina comes back, and it's fantastic; James doesn't admit that he misses the excuse to spend time with her away from the rink. Judging from Paul's pitying looks he's not hiding it very well. Whatever, he could be spending more time at the rink for extra practice and not because Gina is often there. He thinks she calls him "Lazy" less often, but he might be imagining it.

The team gets great additions, like James' former captain Morrow and freaking Jarome Iginla. James once thought that playing with Sid and Gina on Mario Lemieux' team would make it easier to be confronted with hockey legends, but that's only marginally true. Iginla says he looks forward to playing with him and asks him for advice on how to play with Gina, that's pretty cool, even though Gina teases him about his excitement. He can see she's just as happy, though. They don't click immediately, but they still have time before the playoffs.

Then Tanger gets injured, Sid breaks his jaw in a freak accident, and shortly afterwards James gets hit in the face with an elbow. He fucking hates concussions. The team is on a three-game road trip to the South and he´s too dizzy to even watch the games with Sid and Tanger. He watches the highlights and cheers every time they score, especially when it's Gina. He misses her, even though she's texting him about random stuff that's happening on the trip and Nisky sends him pictures of the splash fight she starts with Brooks. James wants to be there on the ice with her, watch her play her incredible hockey and play alongside her, and afterwards to celebrate when they win and to share the frustration when they lose. He'd sit next to her and fling an arm around her shoulder, because even though she's taller than him she almost never sits straight, or swat her with a towel and make fun of the reporters together. Maybe they would go for dinner with the guys, he almost always ends up sitting next to her so that she can try to steal his potatoes and he can try to put his salad on her plate. And maybe he could ask her out later, on a date with just the two of them.

What if he'd make her uncomfortable? He really doesn't want that.

James hides his pounding head under a pillow and takes another nap.

###

He's still not cleared for practice, but he misses the team and visits the first day after the road trip. He's early, even, because he couldn't sleep.

"Morning!" Duper greets him cheerfully when he finds him in the lounge. "Are you lost?"

"Are you?" he says, because he's still tired and can't think of anything better. 

Duper steps aside to let Paulie in, who raises his eyebrows when he sees James. "Are you still moping?"

"Nealer's been moping?" Duper asks, delighted. James groans.

"He's worried about asking Gina out," Paulie says. 

James shoots him a betrayed look. He told Paulie that in confidence, he's not supposed to tell. Paulie looks faintly apologetic and then shrugs, jerking his head towards Duper and somehow managing to express "it's Duper and you need the help." 

"Awww," Duper says with grin. "It should be fine. She likes puppies."

"Fuck you," James says, more viciously than he meant to, and leaves. 

"Hey," Duper calls after him and then runs to catch up. "Sorry."

"It's fine," James says curtly. 

Duper grabs his arm. James stops and leans against the wall of the hallway.

"Listen, I didn't know Paul was serious," Duper says. "Never really thought, you and her, you know… I mean, you pull each other's pigtails all the time, but I thought it was more like a sibling thing."

So did James. He knocks his head back against the wall and doesn't look at Duper.

Duper waits a bit, and then says: "It's hard, but you know, it's been done before."

James snorts. "And look how that went. I just don't want to screw things up, you know?"

Duper shrugs. "Just ask her out on a date. Worst case, things are awkward for a little bit, but it'll pass."

"I'm not really good with girls" James says, frustrated.

Duper laughs. "Yeah, we know. But it's Gina."

That's true. James has always been good with Gina. 

Duper ruffles his hair. "Good luck."

And that means something.

###

James feels much better now that he knows that Duper doesn't think it's a terrible idea. His concussion symptoms fortunately disappear relatively soon, he can start light workouts, and he goes to a Pirates game with Paulie. He asked Gina first – not as a date, shut up, Duper. And anyway she had other plans and on top of that said that the Steelers are better. She clearly has no taste. 

If they did go on a date he could lean against Gina's shoulder and they could hold hands and stuff, maybe he'd kiss her when nobody is looking. His face goes warm and Paulie laughs at him, but not in a mean way, and James is so glad to be able to talk to someone that he doesn't even mind much. 

It helps that the team is winning games: Gina is playing beautifully, the new guys are starting to fit in, Duper is having a career season, Bea is doing her best to earn a roster spot in the playoffs. They beat Montréal 6-4 at home and go out celebrating afterwards. This is their year, they can almost taste it, and James sees it in Gina's eyes over dinner and looks away quickly before he gives himself away with his stupid smile. He doesn't fool Paulie, who jabs him in the ribs with his elbow.

Gina shows up at his house the next day after practice. 

"My turn," she says as greeting, waving at him with a pair of DVDs in her hand.

James squints at them as he lets her in. "Are these Russian? What the hell, G?" He's trying to hide how happy he is about her visit. She only came over once before, to inspect his new house, and declared it too empty and lonely. 

"For kids! So you can learn. Look, is very cute, have little bunny." 

"I'm not learning Russian!"

"Lazy. You're make little bunny sad," Gina says with a disappointed headshake and a broad grin.

"Better the bunny than me," he just says. "Anything to drink?"

They end up sitting on the couch and watching a documentary about dolphins. James refused poker, because she always wins, and he suggested table tennis – his brothers had bought him a table for his birthday – but he's not sure where he put the paddles, so TV it is. It's comfortable. Gina loves animals, especially cute ones, though after a few minutes James admits that he didn't know how brutal dolphins are.

"But also cute," Gina says firmly. "Look, baby one! What do we get for Flower's baby?"

"Uh," James says, caught off guard by the change in topic. "I don't know, what does a baby need? Blankets and stuff?"

"Already have blankets," Gina says. "Mama say something useful, because babies – lot of work."

From what James has heard from Tanger, that's certainly true. "Maybe… offer to walk their dogs?" 

"Good idea," Gina says approvingly, and James can't help a quick proud grin. "Babysitting not work, Vero not accept."

"Hey," James protests. "Duper and Kuni would definitely let me babysit their kids." Tanger and Adsy might not, but he decides not to mention that. 

"Would let kids babysit Lazy. Can't trust alone," Gina says, sticking her tongue out and grinning at him. He's suddenly very aware of the fact that they're sitting pretty close on the same couch. 

"Well, nobody would let you babysit their kids because they have you wrapped around their little finger in thirty seconds," he says. He looks back at the screen, where a diver is currently trying to swim closer to a dolphin. The mental image of Gina with kids makes him feel warm, similar to when he watches highlight reels of her goals.

"But I'm very good with dogs. Dogs love," she says proudly. 

"They're Flower's dogs, they're probably crazy."

"True. All goalies crazy, make dogs crazy too. Good Vero has time to relax."

"We should offer her Flower-sitting," James jokingly suggests.

"Yes!" Gina agrees instantly. "When Vero tired, we take Flower out. Get guys help, too. You have card?"

"Uh," James says. "Maybe?"

"I have. We make very pretty, put flowers on it. Soon, Vero very pregnant. You come?" She's already up and gesturing towards the door, looking at him impatiently. 

James sighs and turns off the TV (the dolphin was finally letting the diver pet him). "Fine. But it was your idea."

"I'm always have best idea," she agrees. He ducks his head so she doesn't see his smile.

When he buys a potted plant the next day it's absolutely not in case Gina comes over again and complains about how empty his house looks. Okay, it definitely is. He manages to lose the caretaking instructions almost immediately and has to call his mom, who laughs at him. Typical. But she seems happy that he's decorating, so he counts it as a win. He even thinks about putting a few family pictures on the wall, though he's pretty sure he'd need help with that.

He really enjoys spending time with Gina, and it's nice to have her over, is all. Obviously being injured still sucks, but it's a silver lining. And he has more opportunities to fantasize about kissing her.

"Stupid," James tells himself with a groan. He should just ask her out. It's a scary thought: what if she says no? She seems to like spending time with him, so she probably won't be too weirded out, or try to avoid him like the last girl he tried to ask out. Paulie and Duper said it would be okay, and maybe they're right. Summers are long.

###

Tanger is cleared to play when Sid and James are only just starting to skate again. Sid's new jaw protection looks hilarious, and it only takes James three minutes until Sid laughs about it too. He only awards himself half the points because Sid is clearly so happy to be back on the ice he doesn't care about much else, not even Kadar jokingly complaining how rusty he is. 

They watch the Boston game together and James invites Sid for lunch the next day. He's a bit nervous, and he alternately tells himself he shouldn't be and reminds himself why maybe he should. Sid is his captain, and his opinion holds much weight. But he's a good guy: he and James aren't particularly close, but they're team, and James has never doubted that Sid would help him any way he could. Well, mostly.

"So what's up?" Sid asks finally. They've both finished eating and James has been trying to think about how to best broach the topic for the past twenty minutes. Gina always told him he has a terrible poker face. 

James fidgets, and then blurts out: "Do you think it would be bad if Gina and I were together?", very quickly.

Sid blinks. "Are you?"

"No," James says. Then, "But I want to ask her out."

Sid blinks again. "And you're asking me?"

James shrugs, embarrassed. "You know. It's not exactly… They told us not to, more or less." He still remembers the "how not to be a jerk to female teammates" session for rookies and the repeated emphasis on "don't hit on them."

Sid nods. "But you're serious." 

It's not a question, and James just nods.

Sid doesn't say anything for a few seconds, and James only becomes more anxious. Sid is one of the most vocal supporters of Gina on the team, they're good friends, and though he's gotten better he still occasionally has the tendency to be protective. 

"You know the risks," Sid says. "We can handle the media, but if it messes with the team…"  
He doesn't say 'they'll trade one of you, and it'll probably be you because you're more expendable.' 

James knew that, but it becomes more real when Sid says it. He has a brief surge of panic, but then he thinks about Gina laughing after she scores a goal, and how she smiles at him when she's relaxed and happy, and takes a deep breath. "I know." 

Sid smiles. "Good luck." 

"Thanks," James says with relief.

"But, uh," Sid says, a bit awkwardly, "you should probably wait until after playoffs. Just, you know."

"Yeah," James says, grinning. "Of course." 

And then, because he can't keep his mouth shut, he says "I thought you were going to give me the 'hurt her and I'll hurt you' speech."

Sid makes a face. "Why would I do that? Gina can take care of herself."

"I know," James says, and he does. It's comforting, in a way. 

###

He thought it'd be hard not to constantly think about it, now that he has the blessing of the team – or some of them, anyway. It's not like he's going to go around and ask all of them for their opinion, and if Sid and Duper are okay with it the others will be fine with it, too. He's pretty sure that some of them have guessed already: Kuni, probably, Flower, Cookie, Brooks, possibly even Iggy. None of them have said anything, but Cookie keeps winking at him when Gina's not looking, there was one strange moment after practice with Brooks staring at him and then nodding, and James is pretty sure that Iggy wants to ask but doesn't quite dare. 

To his surprise having made the decision to ask her out helps: she'll say yes or no, and that will be it. If she says no, he'll get very drunk with Paulie and try to get over it during the summer and hope she's fine with it. If she says yes… they'll figure it out somehow. They've always worked well together, and he really wants to try.

He has a hat trick and four points in his comeback against the Hurricanes, and Gina has three points. It's the perfect last game of the regular season, and the atmosphere in the locker room is charged with excitement.

"Seven times playoffs, seven gold streaks in hair! And one silver, for Cup. Lot of catch up to do, rookie," Gina says happily and sticks her tongue out at Bea. 

Bea makes a face. "Do I have to do gold? With my hair colour?"

"Dye black first!" 

The team whoops and Bea clearly regrets asking.

"Ah, it'll be fine," James says and reaches over to try and ruffle Bea's hair; she ducks away just in time.

"Yeah, just accept you'll never be as pretty as TK," Cookie calls, and the room dissolves into chirping.

###

The playoffs start and he doesn't have the energy to think about anything other than hockey. Things go fine in the first round against the Islanders and even better against Ottawa. And then they get swept by the Bruins and he feels empty. 

###

He's exhausted when he comes home. He sends brief text messages to his family and friends who called him, but he doesn't feel like talking to anyone. They clean out their lockers on Sunday; James hugs Duper and Kuni extra hard, doesn't even want to think about them not coming back, and makes sure to wish everyone well, just in case. You never know who might be traded during the summer. 

He and Gina avoid looking each other in the eye for longer than brief glances. They both took their lack of goals in the Boston series hard, Gina possibly harder than anyone. He maybe holds on a few seconds too long when they hug, but she doesn't say anything and neither does anyone else.

It takes him a few more days of moping, as his siblings call it, to get over the worst of his terrible mood. Wednesday evening he asks Rebecca to look up if Shero said anything about Gina's contract yet, because he'd rather be mocked by his sister than read what reporters are probably saying about the team. He's pretty sure she suspects something, but she's nice about it, doesn't even ask any further questions and only asks for a signed #71 sweater for her birthday. It's nice when his family thinks he's a functional human being, though they are always quick to remind him it's only because they trust his teammates to look after him. 

"Can I come over?" he texts Gina in the morning.

"Meet for breakfast?" she sends back almost immediately, and he agrees.

Gina looks happy to see him. James sees her smile for the first time since the Boston series began and suddenly realizes how much he missed it. 

They talk about everything not connected with hockey while they eat: Gina's dog back in Russia that she's looking forward to seeing again and James' siblings and the most recent baby pictures Flower sent. It helps, and eventually they're both laughing again. Gina looks like she needed it.

"How are your parents?" James asks.

Gina winces. "Parents fine," she says vaguely. 

"That's good," he says quickly.

"Just, you know, worry," she adds, and James could kick himself. He knows, because she told him in detail when she got drunk once, how annoying she finds it that her family worries so much about her. And now, with the Boston series and Gina negotiating a new contract, it's probably worse than ever. 

"It'll be fine," he says awkwardly. 

She nods. "Contract done soon, then they worry less."

"That's great!" he says enthusiastically. "I mean, I'm happy you're staying." 

"You're know I want stay," she says with a slightly puzzled look.

"Yeah, just, you know, it's good to hear again. It's great to have you here." It's possible he's beaming a bit too much. It's silly; he did know she wanted to stay. But it's as if he suddenly realizes what it means: he'll get to play with her for many more years, they'll make great things happen on the ice, and he'll get to keep one of his best friends off the ice as well. Who happens to be the woman he… who's Gina.

Gina is still looking at him, so he hastily amends: "It'll be good for my stats and stuff." 

"Lazy," she says with a grin, and it sounds fond.

"Do you, uh, do you want to go for dinner sometime?" James blurts out before he can stop himself. Immediately afterwards he wants to sink into his chair. He wasn't planning on asking her right now.

Gina raises an eyebrow and looks at the table that still has their empty plates on it. "Yes?" she says, slightly confused and with a bit of her "you're an idiot and I don't know why I like you" look.

He thinks he's blushing. He really hopes not.

"No, I mean." He swallows. "When you, uh. When you come back from Russia. Do you want to go out with me sometime?"

Now she's frowning. "You mean date?"

"Yeah," he says, and his hands are sweating.

She hesitates for a moment (he digs his fingers into his thighs to keep his hands from shaking.) Then she smiles. "Yes."

"Really?" he asks, surprised. Then he catches himself. "I mean, awesome." He's beaming at her.

Gina laughs at him. It's pretty much perfect.


End file.
